Living with Regret
In recent psychology studies, researchers suggest that every single one of us lives with some form of regret. Is this something that we have to live with though? It’s important to take the time to look at the things in our lives that are living rent free in our daily thoughts. In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn talk about regret and the ways that regret can impact us. Leslie and Leslyn also offer ways that you can start to reevaluate and process the perspectives surrounding the experience, the meaning behind the regret that we feel, and the ways that we can deal with regret!
In this episode, we discuss…
Show Intro [0:01]
Introductions—Regret [0:12]
Start of the Podcast [0:38]
Leslyn’s Thinking on Big Regrets [2:59]
90% of People Have a Big Regret in Life [4:17]
Defining Regret? [5:45]
The Key to Processing the Experience [6:43]
Doing What You Can [9:39]
Challenge the Regretful Moments [15:52]
Share and Touch Base with Us! [19:21]
Having a New Perspective [19:46]
Coping Mechanisms for Regret [22:55]
Allow Ourselves to Get it Wrong [25:03]
The Difference Between Disappointment and Regret [27:02]
Regret from Sense of Loss or Sorrow [28:52]
Understanding the Choices You Make [30:55]
Try This at Home [34:27]
Next Week [35:55]
Outro [36:05]
NOTES:
On this week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn tackle regret and the ways that it impacts life and what we can do about it. It is reported that more than 90% of people hold onto a big regret in life. Regret by definition is a negative cognitive or emotional state that consist of blaming ourselves for a bad outcome that occurred, feelings of loss or sorrow on what could have been and wishing that we could undo a previous choice we had made.
Leslyn shares that the fact of the matter is, the thing that you may regret you did for a reason. Given the exact same circumstances and no knowledge of what the future holds, many would make the same decision again that they are stuck regretting right now. Leslyn admits that she does feel regret, but she shares that it is important not to hold on to the regret and to keep regretting. If Leslyn feels regret, it’s only momentary and she works to correct the regret she holds. Leslyn challenges the listeners that if they are feeling that they are carrying regret they can follow the following exercise.
Close your eyes and take yourself back to that exact moment that you hold regret for. Imagine that you are faced with the decision that you made or didn’t make. Ask yourself, would I do this again if not given any knowledge of the decision’s future consequences?
Leslie shares that when we look at short period of time, we often tend to have more regrets. If we look at longer periods of time, more time has gone by and we know that things turned out despite decisions that we had made. It’s all about perspective. Leslie raises the idea that we rarely every regret and think that things in life could have been worse if you would have chosen differently. Leslyn adds that there is a lot to learn from regret as it is a way of saying we need to pay attention. For example, if you have done something that causes pain to someone else, you may feel regretful about that. This is an indication that you can grow and it’s important to reach out and say sorry to that person and do what you can to repair the situation.
It’s also incredibly important to learn how to allow us to get it wrong sometimes. You must remember to be kind to yourself when you get it wrong. Regret also appears when we have a sense of loss or sorrow of what might have been. When making a conscientious choice to do one thing and it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to turn out it might feel like you could have had control over the experience. Most of the time you have control over and make decisions in a conscious manner and it’s important to remember that the result can be imperfect sometimes.
This week’s Try This at Home is to look at all the things that you regret in life and apply this though process to each one of them. Leslyn tells clients to write down all the things that you think you regret and then go through the exercise understanding the reason why you made the decision you did. Then ask yourself, if you had no knowledge of the future and you had to make the decision again, would you make the same decision? It’s a really good chance that you will make the same decision so it’s important to understand how to make peace with it and move on!
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Next Week’s Episode: Disappointment
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Links to Look At:
Last Week’s Episode: Personal Growth- The Elevate Class
[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/9/8/personal-growth-the-elevate-class]
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